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Sex Wine and Pregnant
“A life driven by drives is an uncontrolled experiment bound towards catastrophe!!”
A word of advice, “Don’t have sex when you are too drunk, and don’t have a baby when you are too young.”
Ok! That was more than a word, but the point is, both these situations lead only to trouble. But why am I talking about all this stuff today? Perhaps I don’t have anything better to write home about, or perhaps, I am taking writer’s liberty, if such a thing exists. But if you are thinking this is some kind of a religious discourse or a lecture on morality, let me assure you, it might not be a playboy write-up (actually it just might be that somewhere down the line) but it won’t lead to a Church either.
Over the last few weeks I’ve been keenly following the ugly election time politics going on in the US with the state of North Carolina banning same sex marriage. Perhaps it was an attempt to divide the voters on religious grounds, given the fact the present incumbent Mr Obama had not too long ago signed out a legislation which stopped the member of homosexual community serving in armed forces from disclosing their sexual orientation. Given the fact the opposition neither has issues to talk about, nor genuine solutions to the problems of ordinary Americans, or a plan for the betterment of ordinary people, and most importantly, no great acts of their previous regimes to build their campaign around, I am not surprised they have stooped to the lowest levels of politics, “The mud-sling and wild-swing tactic”.
But this has definitely the real issue that stares the developed world in the face in the middle of spotlight: Rights of homosexual individuals. But rather than going into the religious, political, moral and social objections to the issue, I am going to simplify the problem into its’ core components, which will help create a better grasp of the reality, and perhaps in the formulation of a long term strategy to work for the greater good of entire humanity. However, even ahead of all, let me just put marriage as an institution, into the right perspective.
Firstly, what actually is marriage? Various metaphors have been used to describe this sensitive relationship over the centuries. From “Holy Communion” to “Legal enterprise”, the definition varies according to the background of the individual defining it. But in all reality, marriage is simply a relationship between two individuals which is a socially acceptable norm before one is allowed to have sex and a possible progeny. All other relationships are considered infidel and are socially unacceptable to varying degrees in different cultures. In medieval Europe living like partners without this social permit was un-acceptable form of social behaviour and always entailed community’s wrath. It still is the case in most developing nations.
Over the centuries the right to announce a couple married has remained vested either in the religious organizations or legal, simply because both have the society’s trust and obedience, and entertain an authority over it. But is marriage really an aspect of religion, culture or law? Well, let me answer this one with a question. “Is there any religious, cultural or social group of people which doesn’t have marriage as the basis of family structure?” If the answer is no, then marriage has got nothing to do with religion, culture or law but is rather a basic feature of human civilization.
The next question associated with marriage would be, “Is marriage the only way to have kids?” The answer is once again best derived from another question, “Do all marriages bear kids?” Over the course of human history there have been couples who couldn’t bear a child of their own, and there have been people, often prominent personalities, who have parented an illegitimate offspring. Did marriage influence any of those cases, other than offcourse the social stigma associated with the latter case? You have the answer to this one already!
So how do all these questions link with the current issue of gay marriage rights? Perhaps these questions dispel the objections emanating out of the religious, social and legal contexts, simply because these groups don’t have a legitimate say on the issue. Yet all these components of human society impact the decision making process of the society. So let me get back to the core issue of this part of the discussion in this write-up.
Now there are two facets to the issue, both contradictory in demands, and hence all the confusion in finding its’ solution. The first obviously is about the “Equality”. We are not living in medieval times anymore, the dark ages. This is the new world, the one based on equality and freedom. Everyone, irrespective of their colour, religion, sex or beliefs is equal and enjoys the same rights and freedom as any other member of the society. They why discriminate against anyone for their sexual orientation?
If everything seems to fall into place with this argument then the issue seems to be resolved instantaneously. Homosexual people have the same rights as anyone else. If they want to commit themselves to one person for the rest of their lives, they are free to do so. And if marriage is the only socially acceptable name for such a sexual relationship, they have every right to register their relationship as a marriage. After all at the end of the day, marriage is nothing but a society acceptance of the fact that these two individuals are legal partners for sex for the rest of their lives or until divorce. If marriage was anything divine than divorce would have been as illegitimate as the same sex marriage, and the same would be true about live in relationships. They why have double standards?
It can be described as nothing but discrimination if society refuses to accept a relationship between two individuals as legitimate if they are committing to one another for the rest of their lives and are in no way committed to anyone else previously. This argument is the end of the story about the “Equality” aspect of the same sex marriages. Alas! Equality is not the only core issue in the current problem.
An equally important and completely contradictory aspect to the situation is the future implications. Society may not have had trouble accepting the same sex marriages if it wasn’t thinking about the next step in line; the right to have kids. And in this case the problem is not about equality but rather the future of the kids. If right to equality demands same-sex marriage be accepted as a legal union of individuals, it demands them the right to have their kids too. But the question that stares society in the face is, “How will the kids of same sex parents grow up to be in their sexual orientation?” The problem is compounded by the fact that people still don’t like the idea of their sons hooking up with another’s son, or their daughters sleeping with another’s daughter. So basically the problem is still what it all originates from, the homosexual life style and the society’s refusal to accept it. But what is the solution?
While providing a solution is indeed the main intention of this write-up, it is much more important to explain the two sub-issues at work here. Firstly, same sex parenting might appear to be a monster issue here, it doesn’t take too much to make it shed all its’ water. The question to be asked here is, “Who raised the kids that chose homosexuality as their lifestyle? Did heterosexual parenting make any difference to the outcome?”
If someone says homosexuality is a result of bad parenting, let me assure them, bad parenting has produced criminals or individuals with stunted growth but not homosexuals. Homosexuality is borne out of a much complex matrix of emotional growth and one of the three most powerful drives amongst all living organisms, the sex drive. Honestly, I think homosexual relationships might be the best solution to all the hate problems of the world, for their kids will only grow up learning to accept everyone as equal in spite of their differences. But that is not the complete solution to the real issue!
The thing with sex drive is, once it gets associated with a particular object or behaviour pattern, it really sticks for the rest of the life. All the fetishes and guilty pleasures are an example. It is not referred to as the basic drive for no reason! If someone finds having sex in the shower with the girl holding on to the taps for life, they will invariably lead their partners there. If someone likes women with high heels and over knee height boots, the woman will never need convincing to blow that man’s money in a shoe store. I wish I could have given some examples from girls’ perspective too (it would have made the write-up even hotter), but unfortunately I am a man, so let me just finish the point here and get on with the job. The thing is, if someone finds having sex with the same sex as much more satisfying that being in a heterosexual relationship, there is no stopping them from turning homosexual. But the point that catches my interest here is, “If someone finds having sex with the same sex satisfying!” Now why would any person find having sex with the same sex as satisfying? The answer to this question is the solution to their homosexual behaviour pattern.
If a boy likes to have sex with boys, the reason is, he either doesn’t feel comfortable with the girls, or perhaps because of the general attitude and mannerism of the girls he’s seen around in life, or maybe due to something someone he really liked did to him, or their behaviour towards him. It is all in the way they perceive girls as a person of interest or sexual partner. You don’t want to have sex with those you don’t like. This could even be borne out of a previous sexual incident in which they were a victim and that incident somehow established a sexual pleasure link in their subconscious mind. They may have disliked one of their parents attitude towards their other parent to an extent that now they hate a particular sex so much, they either want to get away from it, or give it back to them.
For any reason whatsoever, if a boy does not like the thought of having sex with the girls, he won’t enjoy it. And if he won’t enjoy it with girls, then who else will he do it with? Unfortunately for him, if someone coaxes him into having sex with a boy who appears more like the girl he would have rather had sex with then bang, the sexual association is set from there on for the rest of his life. The same is true in case of girls!
All homosexuality is a direct result of someone or something influencing a person to have sex with the same sex and the resulting pleasure attachment. That someone might have their own sexual desire for new partners, for their own guilty pleasure. Or the inciting trigger could be just something associated with homosexual lifestyle motivating a disoriented and sexually dissatisfied person to try something that catches him forever in their week moment. The solution to the problem lies in finding the root cause of the dislike for the same sex and rectifying the problem before it is too late, than disliking homosexual individuals and denying them any equal rights, or trying to dissect them from the society. Who knows how many an Einstein and Columbus exist in homosexual community. Humanity cannot afford to lose its’ talent!
Now this lengthy discussion finally leads us to the next part of this discussion, which thankfully is not intense but is still all the more relevant. Just the other day I saw “Teenage pregnancies” topic trending on the Twitter timeline. I realized it was about a program aired on MTV US, and showcased the lives of teenage moms, the hardships they face and how and what about “Teenage pregnancies” is bad. Unfortunately, all I could make out was, the program dealt with the issue from the girls perspective, as to why it was a bad decision for girls, or if they need our sympathy or help, or whatever the case may be. But what irritates me about the whole “Teenage Pregnancy” scenario is the fact, “What about the child who hasn’t even born yet? What is the child’s fault that it is being punished even before it opened eyes in this world?”
Every child in the world deserves an environment conducive for its’ wholesome growth as an individual. “NO GIRL, OR BOY, OR PARENTS” in this world have the rights whatsoever to bring an individual into this world when they are themselves not ready or prepared to give that child the basic healthy environment of an average home. What is the child’s fault? Teenage moms and their dads are themselves kids who are trying to find what they themselves want to achieve in their lives, and I am sure none of them is satisfied in whatever situation or social position they are in at that point of their lives. How can they even think of giving birth to a kid when they are themselves not mentally prepared to settle down and raise a child, leave alone being financially independent and settled so as not to have to worry about food, shelter and clothes?
Teenage pregnancies are not just a bad decision for the girl and the boy involved but is also a crime against the child yet to be born, a child who has every right to demand basic things like a decent home, family security, and small things a child their age would expect to be provided by their parents. Irrespective of the fact how good a girl or a boy coped with the material aspects of child care, the bigger issue is, are they themselves emotionally satisfied the way their lives have turned out to be? Have they achieved what they wanted to, or can they achieve it now, or even try to achieve it without denying a child a balanced growth environment? Even putting the kid up for an auction is a crime against the child for every child deserves the right to be raised by their own biological parents.
And it is not just about teenage pregnancies alone. Even if you are in your mid-twenties or thirties but are not in a position to provide a child a decent home and facilities expected in an average household (average household means the average household of the community where the child will grow), you have no moral right to bring a child into this world. It is just not right! End of story!
And now we finally come to the last part of this write-up: social drinking in pubs! Quite often a scenario that leads to binge drinking, and invariably culminates in unsavoury end to the entire experience of the night, it is the first step towards the problem of alcoholism. The rest of the factors include family or work pressures, or personal issues. But while the government and community have set up organizations world over to help people fix their problems with alcohol, as the old saying goes, “Prevention is better than cure”, always and invariably!
Why do we need to drink? Is drinking really important to have fun? The myth associated with drinking is that drinking makes you jubilant and helps to gel with the crowd and mingle in the night. The fact however is to the contrary. A fact no alcohol industry funded research will tell you, here I am sharing it with you, just out of basic knowledge of Science and human body.
What is it about alcohol that makes you feel light and float? Or I should rather ask, “How does alcohol make you feel light and float in the night?”
Ethyl Alcohol C2¬H5OH, the active constituent of all alcoholic beverages, is a small molecule, smaller than glucose, and highly volatile. It is absorbed even quicker than the glucose, once inside our bodies. It straightaway gets dissolved into the water in our blood stream and is transported everywhere in our body including brain, thus leading to its’ malfunction, often referred to as dwindling social inhibition, explained just below. But the same Ethyl Alcohol is a by product of anaerobic respiration in alcohol fermentation process by yeast, hence unsuitable for energy requirements in instances of heightened muscular activity in humans.
During intense physical activity the glucose stored in our bodies is broken down into Lactic acid which leads to muscle fatigue as it’s concentration in muscles build up and the muscles choke on activity. Hence, after a few minutes of rumbling dance on the dance floor, the lactic acid that builds up in yours muscles makes them sloppy, thus giving you a light feeling which is actually a result of weakening muscle strength, though temporary. Once the intense activity stops and bodily oxygen requirement comes to normal, the lactic acid is broken down into Carbon dioxide and water, and muscles regain their efficiency.
Alcohol, when present in heavy concentration in blood stream, hinders energy release required for various muscular activities as it progressively dehydrates body, hindering glucose transportation and lactic acid dissipation. So, the light feeling that comes with intense muscular activity is either sped up, or just created by the progressive dehydration.
Even if a person wasn’t drunk but only energetically involved in dancing, the person would feel the lightness in the limbs, and hence a feeling of floating, due to lactic acid build up. This is why when you are having fun at amusement parks or fairs where you are involved in hyper-activity, you feel light and relaxed even when you are not drunk.
The alcohol however affects the efficiency of brain cells too, for unlike lactic acid which is produced and concentrated only in muscles, alcohol travels everywhere blood goes. It is a known fact that alcohol hinders synaptic activity, thus affecting the relay of information between nerve cells, hence affecting co-ordination. Alcohol also destroys brain cells which do no regenerate and hence excessive alcohol intake leads to memory loss and loss of cognitive functions. And if you notice, we haven’t even touched upon the damage that occurs to liver which digests 90% of alcohol.
Because alcohol hinders brain activity, causes it to shrink (Yes!), hinders synaptic nerve transmission, it is no surprise people generally don’t remember what they did when they were drunk. But the question is, “If you are not going to remember what you did or enjoyed doing, will that enjoyment leave any long lasting taste or memory?” If the answer is no, then all you achieved by drinking was wasting time that you could have actually enjoyed yourself. As I said, the floating feeling is because of lactic acid, not alcohol. Plus, you don’t forget anything you do because lactic acid is formed only in muscles, nor your brains, nor do you lose your inhibitions some of which make the society a better place to live in for the rest.
I guess that should be enough to close this lengthy piece. I can go on forever but alas, good things are supposed to end somewhere.
Enjoy,
“Fatal Urge Carefree Kissing” Amanpreet Singh Rai
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