Virgin by choice

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Virgin by choice

“Morality is a factor of choice, not belief.”

It is easy to assume religion to be the sole prevalent factor determining the levels of morality in a society. But choices are seldom bound by singularity of factors; otherwise there would have been at least one religion in the world which had no sinners. Actions and choices are influenced, amongst others, by social norms, personal desires, and peer groups. I never believed in abstinence because all the religions uphold piety and fidelity. And if you think the current society’s morality is caught in a downward spiral, even the most ancient of societies will provide you enough examples of immorality. The mere fact that infidelity had to be declared a religious sin reflects upon the conduct of some of the individuals in the society when those religions originated. Morality is a set of choices an individual deems fit and adopts as a personal code, depending upon his experiences while living in his society.

I grew up in a very different India than what the younger Indians today are living in. It is true that the size of a town in India reflects in its’ level of development, which in turn reflects in its’ forwardness in social norms. Growing up in a small town even today means living in a society ten to twenty years orthodox in mentality, compared to a big metropolitan. When I went to college, in my town, a girl and a boy who indulged in pre-marital sex were both deemed errant. However, the girls used to bear the brunt of the social apathy the most. The common refrain about a girl who got laid by a boy was, “Her life’s now ruined.” Well, to put it simply, if the girl won’t bleed on her wedding night while having sex with her legal husband (the breaking of hymen), it would mean the girl had sex before marriage, and there were minimal chances of her first marriage lasting, unless she were lucky enough to marry a very big hearted man.

As far as the boys who indulged in sex before or outside marriage were concerned; they didn’t win any sympathy from the society, but a few parents reprimanding their wards for having a friendship with those malignant ones was never a big threat or loss. True if the word spread about their reputation, girls won’t trust or hangout with them. But girls in orthodox India never used to hang-out with boys anyway. Once out of middle school (year eight), it was a struggle to even ask a girl for notes to a lecture. Walking up to a group of girls sitting in a lawn was akin to walking straight into the enemy line of fire, with enemy sitting ready with heavy artillery to blow you into smithereens, and all you had in defence was a kitchen knife.

In my college(s) that I went to, and even University for that matter, there were some very beautiful girls worth dying for, but with a blot in past. The blot I am referring to was their previous sexual experience with a boy. No decent boy who knew their past wanted to hook up with them, yours truly included in that list. And even the swinging Casanovas who had themselves nailed more than one girl previously; they were only interested in them for sex, not marriage. Such was the social stigma that used to attach to the girl.

So when I finally managed to have a girlfriend in University (I did have an always-in-trouble “Friendship” with a girl while doing “Bachelor of Education” in a college, but the relationship was always only a fluke), we never had sex, for we both had the same views about pre-marital sex; that it was a bad decision, as opposed to it being a sin. That relationship lasted good three years where I had plenty of opportunities to nail the girl, for my parents were both working, and my brother was studying in a college, with our house lying vacant all day. But we never even tried it!

Peer pressure, yes there was! My friends would come and tell me, “You should do it. The girls today want it themselves. You better do it or she will leave you.” Did it break me though? Not exactly! I did ask her once if she would like to have sex, and she started crying. So I told her, “I don’t want to have sex with you before our marriage. But if you ever want to, just let me know. But I don’t want you to ever stop loving me for not doing it with you.” This understanding lasted our relationship. Yes there were times when it appeared she was really keen, but every time I asked her she replied in negative. Another part of our commitment was that we will get married only if our parents will agree, and not by running away, as has always been the trend in India. Factors conspired, and the relationship died out.

Was I weak in my commitment to her? It could be said on a few accounts, but not in the light of something I hold in my heart, something that always clouded my confidence in that relationship. But I am not the only person in this world who holds that something. Those who know us from that time, most of them know it. And yes it is true that I had called off an engagement. But I thought it to be better to let the girl go and marry another man, than me marrying her for being a US citizen, only to leave her after moving over to US (a lot of Indians, both boys and girls do that). I could have been a US permanent resident by now, but I knew the fate of the relationship, so backed out in better interests of all. The definition of truth cannot be the one of convenience, and neither can be the divulgence of truth. Some things need to be upfront, for you never know how the person being exposed to the truth would analyse it around the fulcrum of their morality. I know I am rude with my truth, blunt with what I say. But that’s the way I have always been. I would rather take brickbats for not hiding my thoughts and opinions, than being an untrustworthy hypocrite.

There is no dearth of sex in Australia; paid or otherwise. But I am still caught up in my virginity. But it is a choice I’ve made, and not a forced decision. It took me more than a year and an un-reciprocated feeling after moving over to Australia, to change my views about girls who have had pre-marital sex. Before that change, I wasn’t ready to accept a girl who had experienced sex with a man other than me. But what I am afraid of today is; I think I have reverted back to my old thinking once again.

Fatal Urge Carefree Kiss “Amanpreet Singh Rai”

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One man army - First verse explained

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One man army – 1st verse explained

“There is a hero hiding in every heart, disguised as conscience!”

 

This song is about you, the people!

Our lives are made up of situations where we find ourselves confronted by our conscience every time we make a weak choice, in order to escape the consequences that come with a hard one.

“When I stand here and  I see, the man that glares at me. Ain’t the one I know, but can the one I be?”

When you make a weak choice, what confronts you in a mirror is not your image, but rather your conscience. And conscience is very strong and fiery, unlike the weak person standing in front of the mirror. The only way to satisfy this conscience is by being like it; fiery and strong, not afraid to rectify the mistake and make the hard choice.

“For peace is yours if you pay the bill!”

The peace being talked about here is “inner peace”, that comes when you are no longer scared of facing your conscience; the true contentment. But that peace can only be achieved by making the hard choice, thus making yourself vulnerable to the consequences that choice entails. 

“Just make your choice and take the pill.”

A reference to the “Matrix” movie, the choice to be made is; “Do you want peace, or not?” In other words; “Are you ready for consequences, or not?”

The situation one is faced with may not necessarily be a social cause (like crusade against injustice, corruption, prostitution etc), but it could just be a personal battle where one is pitched against their peers (like bullies in school) or higher-ups (company managements, government departments etc) or relations (family disputes). A fickle mind and heart will surrender their interests and live with the injustice when left facing the daunting challenge alone. But a true fighter will fight it out, like Neo (the hero from Matrix movies). But such a hero has certain characteristics that define his persona:

“Ain’t knows no fear, ain’t knows no love, ain’t knows no how to yield! Who knows no hate, don’t need no fate, don’t hide behind no shields!”

A hero cannot be swayed by as powerful emotions as love and hatred, nor can he stop his work for fear of the consequences of his choices and action. He cannot leave anything to fate, and he cannot hide behind a shield. He has to rise above personal emotional needs, conquer his fears and superstitions, then face the problem without the fear of taking a blow or two.

“Where brothers lay who kept their pact. Their words alive, but worlds dead! They ain’t no gonna come around, but the one who cares will take their crown.”

Neo is just a fictional character, but every religion has stories of virtuous men like 4 Princes from Ayodhya (Ramayana), 5 Pandavas (Mahabharata), to tell. And outside all this fiction and mythology, every human society has seen men of honor who either laid down their lives or lived their lives for the betterment of their society; like Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio and others from Philippines, Bhagat, Rajguru, Sukhdev, Chandrasekhar, Bismil, Bose, Ashfaq and many more from India, George Washington from US, Martin Luther King from US,  Sir Henry Parkes from Australia, Nelson Mandela from South Africa (Recent), etc. These men may have died long time ago, and the worlds they left behind might have changed beyond recognition, but the value of their work and words still lives on. They may have died, but the dignity, values and principles their lives propagated, they will continue to inspire and motivate those who really care for their society. Such motivated individuals will continue to strive for their society’s progress, and will keep defending their societies against the greed and vested interests of the society’s enemies.

As far as the meaning of the remaining two verses is concerned, I will leave them to your individual interpretations. And may I also mention, even the first verse should not be confined to the meaning I have lined out here.

Fatal Urge Carefree Kiss "Amanpreet Singh Rai"

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The game as it stands

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The game as it stands

“Real patriots always exhibit intense passion. Doomed is a nation that considers such true sons as mentally imbalanced.”

People like Bhagat Singh, Chandrashekhar, Uddham Singh, and Subash Chandra Bose were real passionate about what they believed in. To an ordinary man they would have in fact appeared as mentally insane, for the ideas, visions and passion they had, would have scared any lesser mortal. When someone talks about changing the future of the society even if it costs them their lives, people tend to think they have gone mad, for who wants to die for the society? Is it worth losing your own life for people who don’t even care? But then, this passion is what defines a patriot. But being a patriot does not mean being mentally inept. In fact patriots are always much more intelligent and compassionate than normal people. This is why they are able to see the truth behind the scenes, predict future, and are impassioned by the thought of their beloved society being subject to the hardships it doesn’t deserve. This is why they fight!

To give you an example of brilliance from Bhagat Singh’s life; after he had smoke bombed the parliament and courted arrest, one of his former associates betrayed the patriots and turned a prosecution witness in the Government’s case against him. During the hearing of the case in an open court, he allegedly told the court how he had seen Bhagat Singh making an actual killing bomb with his own hands. Bhagat Singh contested his claim and asked him to prove it by telling the court what exactly he saw him do. The idiot explained in detail the bomb making process to the open court. Once he was done, and even the judge wasn’t intelligent enough to stop him, Bhagat Singh chided both the court and the witness as to how they have just taught the public how to make a bomb at home, and how people everywhere will be making bombs at home now. So technically, he not only shared the bomb making process with the whole world, but also avoided breaking any law at the same time, such was the genius of Bhagat Singh.

And who doesn’t know of the escape of Subash Chandra Bose from the House arrest in Calcutta and subsequent escape to Japan, to raise an army that almost marched down to Delhi except for the lack of resources and co-ordination. Could an idiot or mentally insane person have accomplished any of those feats? Could an imbecile have travelled all the way to London even after having served a jail sentence in India, and then tracked down General O’Dyer, to shoot him down in his own town, in front of his own people, just like O’Dyer had ordered to be done to peacefully gathered thousands of innocent women, children and elderly in Jallianwala Bagh, that too when he had always been tailed by intelligence like a shadow, like Uddham Singh did? A patriot may be visibly passionate about his beliefs, for his passion is bound to his love for his motherland, but it in no way means he is insane, or drunk.

Now let us discuss everything that is happening in the Indian politics at this moment.

1.    Food security bill:

Just an eye-wash my dear friends! What is food security? The government will buy food items at market prices, and then resell them to ordinary people at a cheaper price. What does it mean? It means the government will be losing money it collects in the form of taxes and public sector undertakings’ income, by providing a subsidy on food. In other words; it will add to the annual budgetary deficit. But is this really a gift from a kind Government? Far from it, India has been tricked all over again. The subsidy ordinary people will get on food in the form of food security bill is the subsidy that has been taken away from petroleum products; diesel, petrol, kerosene etc. So the government has taken money out of your own pocket, and gifted it back to you. And you know what’s the worst part of this all? The rising cost of petroleum products means the production and transportation cost of everything including food items will increase (agricultural implements run on diesel/petrol, the produce is harvested and then marketed in vehicles running on diesel/petrol, and stored in stores that are electricity extensive). So the cost of everything including food will go up, which means, not only will you be paying a higher price for food items even after subsidy, but also for everything else. Who’s the loser here?

2.    Falling Rupee:

FDI, as I’ve mentioned time and again, is not only a way of selling the interests of ordinary Indians, but India has really been sold cheap. Falling Rupee is not just a way of increasing the buying power of foreign investors (selling Indian market share cheap), but also a way of bringing down the running costs of their existing investments like BPOs, manufacturing units etc. How does that work, you will ask? Well, let’s say the salary of the employees working in these multi-national company outlets was Rs 15,000 seven years ago, and has gone up to Rs 25,000 now (I don’t have the real figures, so just making a guess here as both figures appear extremely lucrative for Indian conditions). At Rs 40 per dollar, and Rs 60 per dollar, these figures mean the MNCs were paying each employee USD 2.44 per hour, for a seven hour working day, over a twenty two day working month (5 working days every week), and are paying USD 2.71 today. So as much as the salary jump appears in this case (66% in Indian Rupee), their cost has increased only by a trifle. Compare this to the minimum USD 10+ that would cost them were they to run their shop from US, or USD 19+ in Australia. For the increase in your salaries, you’ve paid the price in the way of rising cost of living. So is the Indian Government working for Indian interests? Has the Indian opposition raised any such points, including the big opportunist who is being currently promoted by the media (more on this below)? And do you think those who couldn’t even be loyal to their own motherlands will be loyal to you? They brought in jobs first to entice you, so that you won’t complain when they will buy out your motherland all over again. You are forgetting one thing; the imperialist administrations might have folded at the end of WW-II, but the imperial businesses never left the colonies. They first secured their interests, and are now spreading their venom again. They don’t even care for their own people, what class and category are you? Ask the people who’ve worked for Holdens in Australia all their lives, or those who were working in the call centres that were moved to India! And I assure you, once the running costs will rise, these jobs will move to Sri Lanka, then Africa, then South America, and then back to US/Aus, for by that time people in these nations will be poor enough to work for that kind of money (Posterity says thank you, for you brought the jobs back!).

3.    The game that’s unfolded:

So an opportunist man hijacked the so called “Cause of life” of a fragile elderly crusader, to launch his political career. Then he raised a campaign blowing away a ruling party, calling it out for corruption. And when the people finally voted the corrupt party out, the opportunist, after a bit of drama, joined hands with the same corrupt party he fought against, just so that he can make the government! And all this time, media left no stone unturned to provide him all the publicity he needed (Compare this to me who had been writing blogs, making videos on much wider ranging issues even before the elderly man woke up, and have written to media outlets, students unions across the globe). Barely a few days down in the government, what does the opportunist do; blow a hole in the budget by following the same people pleasing eye-wash policies of the political parties since times immemorial. Goes on to show not only how dishonest this man has always been, but also his huge lack of intelligence or vision for a stronger future of the nation. Had he been an honest man, he would have forwarded unconditional support to the party that was favoured by the voters more than his own, and preferred to sit in the opposition and be constructive. But what is the real game here? Yes my dear friends, all is not what it seems, and the truth comes out when you ask the real question; how will this drama effect the voters’ mind? My dear friends; the man is nothing but a political puppet, much like the elderly crusader whose movement he stole. He has been used to secure the future of the dynasties that have been ruling India like the Mughals since Independence. His actions will make people of India averse to trying any new leaders, for they will find it hard to trust anyone else, for they will think everyone is as corrupt as the politicians they already have. Thus the power will stay in the hands of the same influential few, and India will continue to suffer.

4.    Where does BJP stand?

For a party that privatised the best and most profitable public sector undertaking, “Maruti Udyog”, for a party who prefers radicals than real sons as leaders (Think about it, what would happen of India if every Indian became a radical; Hindu radical, Sikh radical, Muslim radical, Christian Radical, Mongoloid radical in case of eastern states, Tamil radical, Maratha radical etc?), for a party whose current leader claims to represent India but whose own state has discriminated against Sikh farmers, and he hasn’t even shown the magnanimity to be a true leader and embrace them when he clearly seeks Sikh votes in Punjab, BJP has not my vote of approval (and I didn’t even mention Gujrat riots anywhere here).

5.    Congress and Nehru-Gandhi dynasty:

Perhaps Indians have become so used to being ruled by someone, they cannot think beyond dynasties anymore. Democracy, or self governance, is not for Indians perhaps! Perhaps slavery has really seeped into Indian blood. From Gharid dynasty to the Mughals and then the British, Indians have only been at the wrong end of the whip throughout history. And I won’t just make heavy statements here. For all that I have already stated about the policies of the Congress government, let me just point out how for the last five years I have only been reading and hearing that Manmohan Singh was merely a front-man, while the real shots were being called by the Gandhi family. And now that the elections are near, suddenly Manmohan Singh is the reason of all evil, while Gandhi family is the saviour of India. If Rahul Gandhi was so honest and really felt for Indians, why didn’t he raise his voice for five years when his own party’s government could have been stopped from following wrong policies? Does he only wake up at elections, like a Kumbhkaran? Perhaps we should start thinking about his sister, who resembles Late Mrs Gandhi, the one who imposed emergency to save her government, the one who ordered the attack on Golden Temple without even foreseeing the consequences or looking for a better alternative, the one whose son allegedly bought cheaper guns at heavier price. If Congress is to be believed, there is no other man or women better than them in the over 1.2 billion strong Indian population, leave alone the Congress (reflects upon the quality of the Congress cadre if you get the dig). Perhaps we should just do away with democracy. It will save a lot of money otherwise wasted on elections, because honestly, if not these elections or the next ones, you are ultimately going to vote for a Gandhi anyway.

If I can openly take on Sikh radicals when Punjab was nearly set ablaze a few months back, and no Indian, Aussie or American ever supported or promoted me, I am man enough to save my motherland on my own. I don’t need cowards! Meanwhile, it doesn’t matter who Indians vote for in 2014, the next five years are going to be your punishment for ditching the patriots. And if I quit my pursuits in that time, even God won’t be able to save your future, for there is none!

Fatal Urge Carefree Kiss “Amanpreet Singh Rai”

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What came first?

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What came first?

“Success is the measure of efforts, not calibre.”

What comes first; aim to be achieved or motivation to achieve? An interesting paradox it is, for without a motivation to achieve something in life it’s hard to find an aim, and without an aim it is hard to find motivation to achieve anything. Perhaps we should delve on a question whose answer will not only satisfy both the scenarios, but also give direction to life; how to find an aim in life?

Schooling begins the moment you step outside your parent’s home. The community you live in is your first school that teaches you all the valuable lessons of life. Life however begins the moment you pass out of your school. This point forward, your every decision, action or inaction determines not only your future and that of your dependents, but it impacts the community you are a member of. Before this point you are a society’s responsibility, from this point the society becomes your responsibility. Scary it may sound, but should you be worried if passing out of the school one of your friends’ is discussing Harvard School of Law, another is talking Cambridge University, but you are there worried whether your boyfriend/girlfriend cheated on you last weekend? Maybe your friends were born with some genetic condition, like ‘Nerdism’; after all you cannot achieve anything in a day. So a day here and a day there won’t make a difference if you ultimately find your aim somehow strolling down the mean streets of life one day, will it?

Perhaps a day here or there won’t make a difference to what you will ultimately end up doing in life, but a directionless pursuit is more likely to lead you into doing something you are either not interested in, or something that won’t lead you to the point in life where you want and need to be. So even though you may not be inclined to think about your long term goals just today, for you may be having the hottest date in town tonight, but here’s a simple trick to determine your aim the first thing tomorrow morning after hangover, for that’s when you’ll find your conscience kicking you. Ask yourself then, “How do you want to see yourself when you are forty five years old”?

But why forty five years of age, you may ask. There are two reasons:

Firstly, forty five years of age is the time when a person’s eldest kid is about fifteen years of age, assuming they had their first child at the age of thirty. Fifteen years of age represents what you were two or three years ago before this point. This age frame of fifteen-eighteen years is the time when everyone looks up to their parents and determines if they like what their parents are doing for their living. You compare your parents to their peers and see where they stand in life. And this analysis of your parent’s working life should help you determine whether you want to be in a similar position as your parents, or something more or something lesser will do. You will know whether you like your parents work and living standard, and what they have provided you, and whether you want to provide something similar to your kids. This critical analysis will help you determine what sort of career path you need to choose for yourself, and this choice will automatically come with the pathways to take for its’ achievement. Once you pick a path, all you will need after that is to walk it. Your success will depend upon the efforts you will put in, and the efforts you need to put in will be determined by the calibre you have. I will talk about these in a bit, so hold on!

Secondly, forty five years of age is a time when one is still young, and will have a drive to either succeed further, or settle self beautifully for launching their kids’ careers, and securing their own retirement. Forty five years of age is the time when you finally have the resources and a family to enjoy your life with as well. How and how much can one enjoy, is determined by their career realities. The comparison between your parents and their peers, in conjunction with your own desires and dreams should help you make a career choice that will see you achieve that life at forty five. The future you want will give you the motivation to walk the path you need to.

So now comes the question; what is more important, efforts or calibre? One word answer: efforts. A brilliant mind is worthless if put to no use, and a simpleton can succeed if he continues practicing what he is failing in again and again. The more you repeat your efforts, the better you get at them, ultimately mastering what you are doing.

To give you an example; my best friend from childhood used to struggle with mathematics, barely managing average grades throughout. I on the other hand was a magician with mathematics, solving most complex of the problems, and my high school grades bear a testimony to it. But my friend wanted to be a Mechanical Engineer, something that involves extensive mathematics. The quickest way was to do year twelve with Science and Mathematics as subjects, and then clear a state wide entrance exam to study engineering. He picked the longer way. He did diploma in engineering first, something where he didn’t have to compete with the top mathematical geniuses for a place state wide as they all went for the quickest route. After his diploma, he competed with his peers’ state wide for a hard-fought seat in the top engineering college in the state, second year of degree. He fought a war with mathematics all through his degree, but always finished with decent grades. He mastered it through his efforts! Post degree he got a well paid job in the R&D department of a highly reputed multinational company. Today he is a high ranking official in another multi-national. Compared to him yours truly is sitting here writing this worthless piece. So what’s on top; efforts or calibre?

One final thing I would like to say is; seek excellence and success will come on its’ own. You achieve in life what you strive for. If you strive for success, all your efforts will be like a trial and error experiment where you will get one shot in bullseye and that will be your flash in the pan. However, if you strive for excellence in your field, success will become your shadow, for everything you will do will have the class, grace and finesse.

Fatal Urge Carefree Kiss “Amanpreet Singh Rai”

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